In the past year, as much has become clear to me, I have made a decision to start looking at life differently and I would like to share that vision with you. It is such a simple view. I understand now, that there are 2 ways to live. The first way to live life is how I lived for many years and how I see many people currently living. I can not express enough -the DESPAIR- my life and mental health took because I was living in such a way.
I would be so happy. I would wake up hopeful, ready for the day. I was excited to go out and do this or that and I had a whole plan mapped out in my head or sometimes actually out on paper and I was ready to go out and create, enjoy, and live. Then, I would get to work and there would be some asshole telling me what to do or giving me an attitude. And then I wouldn’t be able to let that go for hours. I would go and tell my coworkers about it and further the anger and irritation. My happy attitude that began at the beginning of the day was all the way gone. Or maybe all those plans I had made went terribly wrong and then I was upset because I was running late. Or maybe I would get a phone call with some bad news. Or one of my friends was having a bad day and was being distant from me.
What would happen in all of these situations is that I would slip into victim mode. I would slip into lower negative emotions and I would allow them to run my day.
I would start thinking that because my plans didn’t work out that NOTHING ever went right for me. I just couldn’t catch a break. I would start believing that maybe I shouldn’t make any plans at all. I would have no structure to the day and just throw it all out the window. I would start to think no one liked me because of the distance a friend created. I would start hating people, due to one person who gave me an attitude.
These are all small examples, but the point I am set on proving is—– WHY do we go to this state of victim hood? Why does one person or one bad thing throughout a day change our entire mood and even the way we feel about ourselves? It’s a sad dialogue that we continuously repeat. It is actually a narrative that has become our reality. It’s such a limiting way of living life. It is allowing people, events, emotions, and difficulties, to transform your life, your self, and your circumstances into a sad, sad shit show.
The second way to live life is completely different. It is one I have been training myself to live. I still slip into the victim mentality and I still struggle with choosing a HAPPY perspective.. But I do find it easier after practicing, to make a simple choice each time my mind tries to tell me my life is shit. Because that’s just it. It is a choice. We have chosen for so many years of our life, possibly our entire life, to believe bad things happen, that we don’t mean much, and that all of these things define us. Well —-LET’S CHOOSE AGAIN. And let’s choose a perspective of Happiness.
Here’s a view into a different world. I wake up hopeful, ready for the day. Excited to go out and do this or that and I have a whole plan mapped out in my head -or actually out on paper- and I am ready to go out and create, enjoy, and live. Then, I get to work and there would be some asshole telling me what to do or giving me an attitude. Initially, I am upset. I do not like assholes and I know that I do not deserve to be treated this way. Instead of jumping into the million reasons why my life is shit and why bad things always happen to me and why people suck, I allow myself to feel that for a very short time. Maybe a few minutes. Maybe an hour. Whatever I choose. And then I decide that I will not let this person ruin my day. I choose to say, “I have a good life. ” I choose to find a way to have compassion for this person. If I am unable to find compassion, I forgive anyway, so then I can move forward with my day.
I do this because there are SO MANY things to be thankful for. While I have one bad moment, one bad person, or even multiple bad things in a day, I also have friends. I am breathing, I am alive. I have so much to look forward to. GRATITUDE IS EVERYTHING. And I believe that eventually we can change the narrative. We can begin believing our lives are truly wonderful, we are truly beautiful and deserving, we are enough, and that sometimes a few bad things slip in, but they will never define us or our QUALITY of life.
I’m not sure if this comes naturally to some people, or if we all struggle with allowing things to ruin our day. But I was so tired of living in a world that made me feel like I couldn’t enjoy everything around me.
2 paths. Entirely your choice. Maybe there is even a 3rd path you would like to take instead.